Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
