I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
