i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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