I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
that's an acceptable place to lick
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
