i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
