So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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