Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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