Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
