U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
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having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
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Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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