im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
