she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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