Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
worst night to have a conscience
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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