If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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