the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
