i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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