You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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