I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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