I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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