im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
i now understand why vodka
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
