I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
