I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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