my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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