Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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