This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
