It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
