It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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