Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Is Oprah even human
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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