I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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