It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
