lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
