i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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