I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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