so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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