Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
