I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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