she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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