Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
