Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize