He told me they were just razor bumps!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
