Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
i believe in u and ur pee
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why is there bacon in the couch?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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