I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
