omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
We had sex on a dog bed..
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
