I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
