I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
