i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
