I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
