She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Randomize
