Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
