I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
