Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
