oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
